- TITLE | Lovers and Liars
- RELEASE | US Release 1980
- DIRECTOR | Mario Monicelli
- STARRING | Goldie Hawn & Giancarlo Giannini
- TAGLINE | "When in Rome, never do what they do."
This married horny Italian man, Guido, gets a call from his sister that his father is gravely ill. He says that he’ll come to see him, but instead makes a stop at a former lover’s house where he sexually assaults her before agreeing to let the woman’s friend, Anita, travel with him to Pisa. On the way they stop in Rome so Anita can star in a commercial, save a man who was hit by a car, and then have sex in a terribly uncomfortable looking hammock on some island.
Emily's Thoughts - This had ALL the "skeez". There was the previously mentioned sexual assault, abusive reactions to hearing the word "no", AND a horrible 1970s mustache. Guido had zerorespect for women and even less for his family, and yet we're supposed to be rooting for him and Anita? No thanks.
When Guido finally gets home, his father has died and the bum doesn’t explain why he was late. Anita is waiting for him in a hotel and seems put out that he has to deal with family stuff - so instead of waiting around for him, she goes to a movie theater to watch porn with a hotel desk clerk. Come to find out, Guido isn’t really loved by his family. Probably because he is a horrible individual.
When Anita finally gets tired of waiting around for him, he drives like a maniac to find her and then basically kidnaps her. Dude. No means no. There’s no excuse for his behavior. She is also a horrible person, demanding his attention even though his father JUST DIED.
Anita, in a predictable move, storms the funeral, outing Guido of his adultery. The funeral procession then becomes a full shit show has the family attacks Guido for his indiscretion, Guido outs his father and points out his mistress, and Guido outing his mother for rigging the family “education” lottery so that Guido could attend university. The very end implies that Guido has run off to find Anita and they prance around Pisa together.
The Swoon Factor |
Emily's Thoughts - Zero swoon for me. In fact, just a horrible love story all the way around with little chemistry between the actors and WAY too much "Skeez" (see below). The meet and fall in love in one evening trope is hard for me to wrap my brain around, and so is the angry American mistress who is peeved her new lover has to deal with his dead father instead of hanging out with her. I can't, for the live of me, figure out what she saw in him when it was very clear from the start that he only had sleeping with her on his mind (right after sexually assaulting another woman).
The Feels Factor |
Emily's Thoughts - I think maybe the director tried at the end, but it all fell short. When Guido confronts his family at the funeral procession, it's obvious there is a lot of baggage he's carrying around...and his family. But since you really don't get to know any of his family members it all falls flat. I do, however, have lots of feels about the "Skeez" (see below). Yeah. I hated this movie.
The Skeez Factor |
Emily's Thoughts - ALL the skeez. I'm not really sure where to start! 1) Married man with multiple "lovers". 2) Self-absorbed humans behaving abysmally. 3) Sexual assault and verbal abuse. 4) Really bad 1970s mustaches. Just about everyone in the movie made me uncomfortable because of their very poor life choices.
The Re-Watchability Factor |
Emily's Thoughts - Hard pass. In fact, I would prefer to forget having seen this movie and pretend I didn't make a horrible life choice.
Does this movie receive the Total Weirdos stamp of approval?
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